Thursday, February 5, 2009

Traits of a FIREWORKS Hater!

Want to know if someone is a FIREWORKS Hater? Look for these traits:

  • Always spouting the LIE that FIREWORKS are DANGEROUS.
  • The sight of FIREWORKS makes them beet red in the face.
  • They tell unbelievable stories of how sparklers kill millions of children every year.
  • They kick puppies.
  • They throw their votes away on third party candidates.
  • They smell and live in their own filth.
  • They are Terminal Virgins!
  • They enjoy telling children that Santa Clause choked to death while swallowing one of his elves whole!
  • They fail to flush.
And the FINAL thing to look for in a HATER:

  • They deliberately pee in the pool after eating Asparagus just to ruin the July 4th BBO!

If you meet anyone who meets some or all of these traits....KILL THEM!

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