Traits of a FIREWORKS Hater!

Want to know if someone is a FIREWORKS Hater? Look for these traits:

• Always spouting the LIE that FIREWORKS are DANGEROUS.
• The sight of FIREWORKS makes them beet red in the face.
• They tell unbelievable stories of how sparklers kill millions of children every year.
• They kick puppies.
• They throw their votes away on third party candidates.
• They smell and live in their own filth.
• They are Terminal Virgins!
• They enjoy telling children that Santa Clause choked to death while swallowing one of his elves whole!
• They fail to flush.

And the FINAL thing to look for in a HATER:

• They deliberately pee in the pool after eating Asparagus just to ruin the July 4th BBO!

If you meet anyone who meets some or all of these traits....KILL THEM!